Diary of a Locked Boy

The nuts and bolts of life as a locked boy.

In which I get a shout-out…

In which I get a shout-out…

…from PDXchastityguy. He picked some of my better pictures from the FetLife machine. =)

A short note, I know I’ve been seriously neglecting this blog and need to do something about that (probably need to ask Master to give me a proverbial kick in the ass to get on it). I’ve gotten to the point with my chastity that I’ve stopped counting days or weeks. Last week was 3 months. I’ve begged Master to make this as permanent as possible, he seems amenable to the idea. So I’m locked for the foreseeable future, with no plans on my part or his to let me out for anything save routine cleaning once a week for 5 minutes.

In theory, my Looker 02 should be here in another 2-3 weeks. I can’t wait.

Well, I did it.

Finally got to order my new steel cage from Steelworxx in Germany. I’ll be getting a Looker 02 with a removable urethral tube that’s got an 8mm diameter and 10mm ball instead of 6mm/8mm and is 15mm longer than the cage instead of the regular 10mm, and we’ve ordered a 5mm PA shackle to be keyed like the lock on the L02, for days when I’m not wearing the tube in. The cage measurements are: Penis ring (cage diameter) – 35mm, Cock ring diameter – 47mm, Length – 65mm. I have a thicker than average penis erect, so I expect the cage to be rather tight when I try to get hard. Hopefully this will lead to me trying to get hard less. 

And because my penis is a wily thing that doesn’t like to obey orders, it’s getting hard just thinking about it. 

Oh, and today is 86 days since my last orgasm and counting. My previous record was 30, so I feel like I’m doing good. Not like I have a choice, although Master did threaten me with an orgasm and I begged him not to make me cum. I think that says it all about where my head’s at with this chastity thing. 🙂 

From a quiz-thingy.

I found this to be spot on. 

“You are a KINKY, CONFIDENT, SUBMISSIVE lover who prefers to GIVE. This means that: You like relatively kinky sex, and you have the great imagination that will always keep your partner guessing and excited! There’s no getting bored with you around, you could never settle for dull sex, you want something fun and new all the time. You aren’t afraid to try out anything you hear about. You might just be an intelligent lover who needs to be mentally engaged, or perhaps you have some dirty dark secret kinky desires, but either way, you’re never boring. You are pretty confident in bed. This means that you know you can please your lover. Maybe you’ve read a lot of sex manuals, or have the experience from previous lovers, or just tend to be skilled at whatever you get your hands on, but you’re good and you know it. You can really get results and know that you have pure talent, so you won’t be hiding away shy, pretending to be all innocent. Your partners love your naughty self assurance, you don’t hesitate and this makes you a sensational lover. You tend to be submissive in bed, so you prefer to go along with what your lover likes rather than your own plans. You might like being ordered around and acting out a slave/master fantasy, or perhaps you just get turned on by being helpless and unable to move. Or maybe it’s as simple as you lacking courage so prefering firm instructions in bed to make sure you are doing things right. Either way, you won’t be dominating your lover anytime soon, and might prefer the missionary position to any others. You prefer to give than recieve. This makes you a very unselfish lover, devoted to the needs of your partner rather than your own. You get your pleasure from seeing them get theirs, you are a model sex partner. I’m sure plenty of people would love to have someone like you in bed with them!”

Really feeling the lack.

I’ll be honest, I haven’t had many moments of outright sexual frustration being locked up, but when I have, they’ve been… frustrating. Definitely feeling it at the moment, it’s like… I just want to throw myself on some hot little twinky 18 year old and fuck the everloving shit out of him until he can’t walk or sit down for a week.

 

78 days. 

Looks like I’ve been neglecting something.

Just a short note, until I can write something a little longer and more… verbose. Long story short: still locked up, still haven’t cum, on day 71 now and counting. Was supposed to be allowed an orgasm on January 13th, our 10th anniversary, but elected to give that up in favor of getting one… at some point in the future. Could be tonight, could be this time next year. No clue when it’ll happen. I’m kind of curious to see how long I can go. 

In other news, hoping to have the dough to shell out for the Looker 02 soon. I’d love to have the cage by the beginning of March. 

Anyway, that’s how it is. 

Sometimes you just need a good lay.

Yesterday was kind of an interesting day. We had plans to get our freak on the day before, but they had to be shelved because of reasons. So I woke up yesterday morning with a very, very hard Bossman spooning me and grinding his dick into my ass. “Let me go get ready so we can do something about that,” I said. Unlike the porn world, anal sex in real life requires certain preparatory measures, namely flushing out and lubing up. I came back in the room to find him on his back, hard cock pointing straight up. 

“Get on it and ride, boy.” “Yes, sir!” 

Normally, when he fucks me, I’m on my stomach with my back arched and ass up in the air. After me riding him for awhile, we figured out that position works for us for a reason. It felt great to me, but he wasn’t getting anywhere, and me being in control just seems weird and wrong now. So he flips me on my stomach and proceeds to try to ram me into the neighbors’ apartment downstairs. I definitely lost the power of speech at some point and nothing but incoherent moaning and screaming was coming out of my mouth, it just felt sooooo goddamn good. It’d been a week and we both really, really needed a hot, sweaty fuck. So that’s what we woke up to. 

And after a very stressful day, we did it again last night, only slower. And twice. And with a lot of moaning and dirty talk. And afterward, he put a very large plug in me to keep his cum inside me all night. He’s finally getting this control and dominance thing I’ve been telling him about. This makes me a very happy boy. 

                                                                      

Sorry about the lack of substantial posts lately, finals are coming up and school’s kicking both of our asses. More to come in a week or so, I promise. 

Day 22.

And I am a leaky, drippy mess. Having constantly sore nipples is only making it worse. Being a gay couple, we don’t go in for the whole feminization thing, but pads are starting to look like a good idea…

An Orgasm’s an Orgasm, right?

I mentioned in a previous post that I make a distinction between a traditional male “penile orgasm” and another type of orgasm. I’ve heard this described as an “anal orgasm” before, but I kind of think that’s a misnomer as well, because they can be gotten in other ways. For me, nipple stimulation does the trick. Although my preferred method is either being fisted or having electricity run through my prostate. Yum. 

That said, here’s some stuff I’ve thrown up on my FetLife profile over the years to describe this second kind of orgasm to those who are unfortunate enough to have never experienced it. 

Found this online. I didn’t write it, but the author hits the nail on the head as to why an anal orgasm is so much better than the regular kind. It’s the ability to enjoy these that makes being locked up worth it to me.

 

“It depends a lot on the person. Some guys are much more sensitive than others, and there’s a difference between having anal stimulation while also stimulating the penis, and having an orgasm from anal stimulation alone. My anus and prostate are very very sensitive, and I’ve experienced both types many times (from sex, as well as dildos) and for me, personally, they are both unbelievably intense. It’s a very different feeling from penis stimulation alone–it’s a least twice as ‘potent’ i guess you could say. I prefer to have an orgasm from receiving anal sex without touching myself at all. This almost always takes longer than if I also touch my penis, intensifying slowly at first and then rapidly becoming more intense, so that I often feel like I’m going to climax only for the intensity to increase. At this point, I’m experiencing a feeling that is easily as intense as a normal orgasm, but I have not climaxed yet, and may not until the feeling has reached a hard-to-believe critical mass. Once I do climax, my prostate will swell up and become hyper-sensitive, almost like it is being tickled (i use that word because to me tickling feels good, but it’s too intense to take all at once) and it is now the most sensitive part of my body. It’s literally overwhelming, and once I’ve climaxed it is almost impossible to self-stimulate the prostate any more, as the body naturally rejects the ridiculous intensity of it, as it would tickling. It’s best during sex, since my partner can continue to stimulate the prostate after my climax–the longer he goes, the more intense it becomes, the continued stimulation basically extending the orgasm indefinitely. At this point I’m usually twitching uncontrollably and squirming, actually having involuntary and almost violent muscle movements all over my body which sometimes last for a few minutes even after sex is over. It’s very refreshing and cathartic, although many people will prefer to end the prostate stimulation once they have ejaculated, and others may not react in such an extreme fashion. As great as it is, it feels very different from a penis-only orgasm, and not necessarily “better”–that’s subjective, but for the record, I’ll go for the anal-induced “seizure-gasm” 99 times out of 100.”

This is from a conversation I had with someone on FetLife describing that same sensation as I experienced it: 

“I’m not really sure that he made me “come,” I think the terms need to be defined. To me, “come” means to shoot semen, while “orgasm” means to, well, have an orgasm. They can happen independently of each other. I’ve had plenty of orgasms since being locked up (hell, just playing with my nipple rings does it these days), but as far as I can tell, I’ve only come twice. And the only way that I knew I came was that I noticed semen the next time I went to pee. Usually, nothing but precome comes out, but I leak that pretty steadily these days.

 

The orgasms are really weird. It’s like I feel my prostate tingling, and I can feel whatever it is in there opening up and releasing precome; the actual orgasm is a really, really intense urge to clench all of my abdominal/groin muscles. It can actually be painful, and it’s also hard to breathe when it happens. Bossman likes to wire me up to our estim box and make me have 5 or 6 of them in a row, which is utterly hellish after the first 2 or 3. I’m usually drenched in sweat, exhausted and my abs hurt the next day like I did a hardcore workout at the gym.”

So, yeah. There you have it. I’ve said it before: I’m 100% okay with never having a traditional penile orgasm again if it means I’m allowed to have this instead. From conversations I’ve had with female friends of mine, they’ve said what I’m describing sounds a lot like how women have orgasms versus the traditional male orgasm. Which I find fascinating and a little hot at the same time. 

Feedback loop of awesome

I think I said in a previous post that I’m a pretty heavy pain junkie, and that my nipples are abnormally sensitive and wired directly to my prostate. I’ve had 12ga captive bead rings in them for the last 7 years or so. I just recently bought a set of 10ga segment rings and wanted to swap them out. I went to my local torture chamber piercing parlor this afternoon to have it done. Which it was, after three attempts due to a broken segment in one of the rings (naturally, the one that went through the nip with scar tissue.)

There’s a problem with having the most sensitive part of your body stretched from the inside out when you’re a pain junkie who hasn’t come in three weeks. Mainly, trying to keep from moaning in ecstasy while on the piercer’s table and having her think you’re some kind of freak. And of course, I wore a tight t-shirt and heavy jacket there. Decided to forego the jacket on the way out. You know what happens to your nipples when you’re outside in 40 degree weather without a jacket, right?

It was all I could do to get to the car before my knees buckled and my briefs filled up with cum. And of course, Bossman had to hit every goddamn pothole on the road on the way back home.

Mmmmphf.

Post the second!

Today is Day 20 that I’ve been locked up in the CB-3000. I’m definitely at the “waking up hard and grinding my completely encased and therefore senseless cock into the mattress” stage. My balls are a mass of dull ache from being overfull. The idea at this point is for me to remain locked up until January 1st (38 more days, ::whimper::), then we reset the clock and try to make this a permanent thing. I’m under no illusions that, at the age of 30, I’ll never have another penile orgasm again after January 1, 2013, but it helps me mentally to tell myself that and to prepare for a penile-orgasmless existence. That, and it’s the holy grail for the guy with a chastity fantasy. 😀

Note: I use the term “penile orgasm” to mean coming from having my dick stimulated. I make this distinction, instead of just saying “orgasm,” because I can and am allowed to orgasm from being fucked or stimulated in other ways (like my nipples, which are abnormally sensitive.) I’ll do a later post about this distinction and why it’s important to why chastity works for us. Long story short: I’m perfectly fine with never having another penile orgasm for the rest of my life if it means I get the other kind. It’s an order of magnitude better, in this bottom’s opinion.

After-Action Report:

Bossman fucked the hell out of me last night and then we tried to get his hand in me, but that was a no-go after the friction of being fucked. We managed to get all 4 fingers and the palm of his hand up to the crook of his thumb in me, though. I’ve quickly gotten hooked on being fisted during the past year. I’ll have to write another post waxing poetic on the joys of taking another man’s hand and arm inside you, it’s truly one of the most amazing things ever. After the attempted fisting (makes it sound like something from a police blotter), he worked my nipples over with our suction cups, clover clamps, wartenburg pinwheel (ouchies) and his fingernails. Putting clamps directly on a nipple piercing is an exquisitely intense form of pain. By the time he was done with me, the power of speech had left me and I was a twitching puddle of boy on our bed.

And Now, The Background (or, why the hell would you want to lock up your dick?!):

Most of the material out there that I’ve read about chastity and long-term orgasm denial is written by straight folks (hey, you guys outnumber us something like 10 to 1, so it’s to be expected), so the gay male perspective is pretty underrepresented. Based on what I’ve read about straight chastity-based relationships, it works for us in a completely different way.

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